Privacy is Purposeful—15 Proven Ways to Get in More “Me” Time (even if you’re a mommy or daddy)

I have to admit, I had to force myself to stop at 15 tips and not go overboard as this topic is near-and-dear to my heart; I’m a sucker for me-time. In fact, I can’t get quite enough of it.

As a busy businesswoman, I’ve learned over the years that if I don’t get my quiet time, err, I’m a tad cranky and crabby. Okay, a lot crabby and cranky.

The older I’ve gotten and the longer I’ve had my business, the more I’ve realized that privacy is so purposeful. It brings focus, clarity, good health, less sickness, less stress, creativity, inspiration, innovation, connection to self and ideas, and more productivity and purpose.

Recently, studies have determined that more couples and even children are begging for just a little bit more solitude. More than 31% of moms say they don’t get enough “me” time while 26% of dads state the same. According to some studies, dads get only 28 hours of “play” time per week while moms ring in only 25 hours; however, it should be noted that an additional 10 hours or so needs to be added to mom’s me-time with additional chores such as cooking, cleaning, bathing the children, etc. (That’s not to say there aren’t pops out there who do the same; I’m merely citing the studies).

All that said, there are ways we can get truly creative in an effort to explore more ways to fit in some purposeful privacy.

Here’s my 15 ways to squeeze in the solitude:

  1. Go to bed before everybody else when you can. Bring a book; journal and or gratitude list. Invest yourself in even just 15-30 minutes of alone time.
  2. Unplug. Get rid of all gadgets, including the tv from the bedroom, and get rid of that “wired but tired feeling.” Plus, it rids of the feeling that you must get back to that person who just WhatsApped you.
  3. Stick to your hobbies. It’s often a challenge once married and having children (or not even having children) to still keep your hobbies, however, they are what helps us zone out a bit, brings us joy and helps us refocus and hit the reset button. Schedule time in your calendar every month and with your partner to make sure you get this you-time in.
  4. Wake up before the rest…when possible. There’s nothing like a quiet, peaceful home while you’re awake sipping tea, seeing the sun rise or just sitting out feeling the morning breeze on your face. Even if it’s 10 minutes before everybody wakes up, it’s worth the solitude.
  5. Enroll in a new class. Get a sitter. Attend. As humans, we tend to show up when we’ve registered for something; this is the chance to learn something new, meet new people and have a breather.
  6. Gym. Yoga. Meditation. Breath-work. Chant. Some of these you can even do on the way to work in the car. (When sitting in traffic, make waiting time not wasted time—learn a new language, take deep belly breaths, chant, say affirmations—this can become me-time, too! I once I had a daily 2-2.5 hour commute one-way, however, I never turned on the radio because I cherished my quiet me-time before work.) It’s all how you look at it.
  7. Schedule yourself first. Every day, put yourself at the top of your calendar. Handle what you must do in order to get yourself feeling as calm as possible before your start your hectic day.
  8. Take lunch breaks outside—or at least away from the office. Take a walk. Bring a coloring book. People-watch. Doodle. If you don’t feel comfortable taking the whole break away from the office, then devote at least 10-12 minutes away. Every minute counts and every minute adds up.
  9. Do ask for help. Do barter, swap and exchange.
  10. Make a date with yourself at least every month. I do this faithfully and the amount of recharging it yields is literally a month’s worth. Personally, I take 2.5 hours at a spa faithfully each month. Stick to this ritual. Whatever it is: a mani/pedi, a night out with the boys or girls (not your children, LOL!), a hike…whatever you want to do, wherever you wish to go. It’s your date night with you.
  11. Avoid Social Media for at least 1 hour each day. I have this workshop exercise I do where I ask all participants to calculate all of their daily electronic usage. I ask them to tally up the minutes and add it all up. It’s shocking how much we are on Social Media and then say we don’t have time for ourselves! If we all just cut out 1 hour each day, we’d stop making the excuse that we don’t have any me-time. Instead of the Social Media, do your hobby, journal, paint your toes, ditch the tv…
  12. Set an alert or alarm to go off every hour on the hour and close the door wherever you are. For just one minute, close your eyes, see your favorite place in nature and take deep belly breaths. When the minute is up, open your eyes refreshed. If you do this every hour on the hour for 12 hours, that’s 12 minutes of you-time.
  13. Get a dog. Or a pet that requires walking. This will give you some privacy and some wonderful bonding time with Rover. Studies show that pet owners are happier, healthier and live longer. So does Rover.
  14. Make time for Mama. Mama Nature that is. Take a long drive. Go for a picnic alone. Read a book by the sea, on the grass, in a botanical garden near your home. Walk barefoot in sand or on the grass; massage those bare feet with warm hands.
  15. Light candles, run a bath and place a Do Not Disturb sign on the door. Sip tea slowly; savor the moment. Dudes: Go to your man cave and still put up the Do Not Disturb Sign.

Here’s to getting in some privacy. Make it purposeful and powerful.

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About Laurie Santos

Owner and Founder of Extreme Dream Training. Certified Life Coach, Master Reiki Healer, Certified Law of Attraction Expert, Certified EFQM Assessor. Surfer, expat, lover of animals, poetry and silence.


  1. Only wanna state that this is invaluable. Thanks for taking your time to write this.

    • I am so happy you took the time to read the post and that it was invaluable to you! Also, thank you kindly for being part of the Extreme Dream Training list of subscribers.

      Are there any other topics you would like to have us write about? Looking forward to hearing more and connecting with you further.

      Yours in Extreme Dream bliss and success,


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